Veterans and Intimate Partner
Violence
Dr. Elena Klaw
Psych 190: Warriors at Home
Understanding Partner Violence
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Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships
What is abuse?
What are risk factors for vets?
What is the cycle of violence?
Why is it hard to leave an abusive relationship?
What can you do if you know someone in an
abusive relationship?
Film Clip: Domestic Violence in the
Military
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UQzK
uE69XE
Healthy vs. Unhealthy
Relationships
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There is a difference…
Understanding Abuse
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Healthy relationships are based on
trust and mutual respect. You grow more!
Unhealthy & abusive relationships
are based on power and control. You
feel weak!
What are the 3 kinds of abuse ?
3 Types of Abuse
 Physical - ranges from slapping, pinching, pushing, and
pulling hair to breaking bones, assault with a weapon,
strangulation, and murder
 Psychological/emotional – verbal abuse, putting
someone down, isolation, control, keeping tabs on
someone
 Sexual – ranges from insisting on engaging in a sexual
activity to coercion, sexual battery and rape
Power & Control in Military
Relationships
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Military Power and Control Wheel:
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/MilitarycontrolwheelNOSHA
DING.pdf
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Maintaining hypermasculine beliefs that women
should serve and obey men at home and sexually
Acting like a commander at home: expecting
others to follow orders
Threatening harm to partner, kids, pets, property
Invoking fear through one’s body or weapons
Further isolating partner who is non military/non
English speaking/immigrant
Threatening to take away all benefits owed to
military spouses: e.g. health care
Risk Factors for Veterans
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TBI/mTBI
PTSD, Depression, Anxiety
Anger
“Fight or flight response”
Substance abuse
Hypermasculine culture that may degrade women
Stress of being away, and struggle with new roles
Unemployment & financial stress
Used to hierarchical environment
Lack of social support
Feel that they are not getting respect they are due
Trained to use violence: Able to intimidate & have access
Power & Control
& The Battering Cycle
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Tension Building
Triggers
Violence
Honeymoon/De-escalation
*also called “presents & promises”
& seduction stage
Why is It Hard to Leave An
Abusive Relationship?
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Fear
Financial dependence
Feel children should have 2 parents
Love, Loyalty, Belief in Marriage
Religion
Lowered self worth
Denial
Self blame
Hope that partner will change
Lack resources for safety or info on rights
What You Can Say
To a Victim
To a Perpetrator
 It’s not your fault.
 You are not going crazy.
 You are reacting normally
 I am concerned about
to a crazy situation.
you and your family.
 I am concerned about
 Let’s make a plan to keep
your safety.
you and your family safe.
 Let’s make a safety plan.
 Let’s brainstorm
solutions.
 Let’s brainstorm solutions.
 My door is open.
 My door is open.
 You need help: Next Door,  You need help: Next
Door, SNBW, Vet Center,
SNBW, Vet Center,
Counseling Services,
Counseling Services.