Developing Effective Leaders
Managing Challenging
Situations and People
Renée A. Daugherty, Ph.D.
Sue E. Williams, Ph.D.
Yelling to handle challenging
situations and people
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Using resources and data to make a point
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When followers just don’t want to go
along with the leader
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Using physical force or threats to
persuade others
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Objectives
 Recognize the personal and professional benefits
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of successfully working with challenging people
and situations.
Understand your own approaches to managing
conflict.
Identify the characteristics of challenging people
and situations.
Manage interpersonal differences.
Manage false agreement when setting personal
and organizational goals.
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Conflict as Opportunity
 An opportunity for:
 personal & organization change
 learning
 growth
 improved performance
 Points out existing barriers to success.
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Do you understand your own
beliefs, attitudes, and values?
 People react differently to the same
challenging situations.
 Understanding your tolerance and
acceptance level is key to managing
challenging situations and people
effectively.
Activity: The Gold Watch
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Managing Conflict Creatively
 What is your conflict management
style?
 Aggressive/Confrontive
 Assertive/Persuasive
 Observant/Introspective
 Avoidant/Reactive
Activity: Your Conflict Management Style
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Conflict Resolution Teams
The secret of managing is to keep the
guys who hate you away from the guys
who are undecided.
Casey Stengel
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Categories of Challenging People
• Complainers
• Super-Agreeables
• Negativists
• Silent-Unresponsives
• Indecisives
• Hostile-Aggressives
• Know-It-All Experts
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Complainers
Twenty percent of
the people will be
against anything.
Robert Kennedy
U.S. Attorney General
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Super-Agreeables
There’s nothing I’m afraid of
like scared people.
Robert Frost
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Negativists
It takes a clever man to turn a
cynic and a wise man to be
clever enough not to.
Fannie Hurst
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Silent-Unresponsives
Silence is the best
tactic for him who
distrusts himself.
Francois, Duc de La
Rochefoucauld
1613-1680
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Indecisives
There is no more miserable
human being than one in whom
nothing is habitual but
indecision.
William James
1842-1910
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Hostile-Aggressives
Anybody can become angry - that is easy;
but to be angry with
the right person,
to the right degree,
at the right time,
for the right purpose,
and in the right way that is not within everybody’s power and is
not easy.
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Aristotle
Know-It-All Experts
They spend their
time mostly
looking forward to
the past.
John Osborne
in Look Back in Anger
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10 General Strategies
1. Put problem people in proper perspective.
2. Take your pick -- positive or negative.
3. Don’t expect difficult people to change.
4. Learn to respond as well as listen.
5. Give and request frequent feedback.
6. Look first at policies and procedures.
7. Deal directly and discreetly.
8. Document for self-protection.
9. Be straightforward and unemotional.
10. Be gracious.
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Communicating One-on-One
 Spend time on rapport.
 Minimize interruptions.
 Watch out for psychological barriers.
 Be aware of your posture.
 Use intensity to your advantage.
 Go to the other person’s turf.
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Listening
As important as talking…
 Pay respectful attention.
 Let the speaker know how you interpret
his/her message through:
 interested
silence
 body language
 verbal responses
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“I” and “You” Messages
 “You” messages are:
 Directed at the other person.
 Highly likely to put the recipient down.
 Going to make the recipient feel:
• guilty
• like their needs are unimportant
• resistant to change
 “You” messages remove the
responsibility for behavior change from
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the other person.
“I” Messages
 Parts of an “I” message:
1. Specific behavior or situation
2. Your resulting feeling
3. Tangible effect on you
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False Agreement
 “On the Road to Abilene”
 The Abilene Paradox
 Moral of the story:
 There is a difference between real and
phony conflict.
 False agreement is as damaging as
disagreement.
 Skills in agreement management include
“Owning up” and “Risk taking.”
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Case Studies
and Activities
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Closing Thoughts
 You can control yourself.
 You can manage the situation.
 However, you cannot control another
person.
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