Ten Things Every Top Manager Should Do to Destroy The Quality Culture
Rob Nix - 2/25/04
My first experience with the word “culture” comes from my high school science class.
We were to grow a living organism on a nutrient base. The science teacher called it a
culture. The girls in class described it using the medical term: “eeewwwww.” Years later
in the business world I find top managers, subjected to the pressure to incorporate a
quality culture into their business, responding in the executive term: “eeewwwww.” Like
the old cereal commercial, they are told it is “supposed to be good for you”, which means
it doesn’t taste very good.
But everybody’s talking about “quality” disciplines. Six Sigma & Zero Defects (NOTE:
the only difference between the two is about 3 and a half defects), ISO-9000, Malcolm
Baldrige, and so on. What a bunch of hype. Yet our customers tell us we need it;
consultants tell us we need it; 9 out of 10 doctors tell us we need it. “Yeah, well, smart
people and their pomp and flourish have never run a business like mine”! Yes, top execs
know how to run their business. But they also realize they have to indulge and pacify
those fools advocating “quality”. So they do the first of ten things to effectively
neutralize the virulent quality culture, they hire a Quality Manager. For all of you future
business executives, all ten of the things to follow should be implemented to ensure the
death of the quality organism eating away at your “bottom line”. It is already being done
successfully in many businesses throughout the world.
1. Hire a Quality Manager, then stand behind him - way behind him. In fact, don’t
give anyone the impression you even know the Quality Manager, let alone give support to
his quality initiatives. There are two benefits to this approach: 1) It is the QM’s job, not
yours, to ensure quality. That’s why you hired him, and 2) Look, for example, at the
circus trapeze people. They become much more professional and conscientious when
they work without a safety net. Take away support from the Quality Manager and it
builds character! Sure, organizations like the Australian Continuous Improvement Group
write that “Senior management support must be active, visible and constant”, but they’re
just being silly.
2. Next, assign the Quality Manager the task of becoming certified to an
international quality standard, but remember: do not support it - just insist that it get
done. Yes, insist on getting certified, but make it clear it is only for the sake of getting a
certificate, not changing the business “paradigms” (that’s 20¢ for you middle managers).
Every top manager knows that to be efficient you must provide only the minimum
required by the customer. They generally just want to see a certificate on the wall; they
may even ask for a faxed copy once a year. Give it to them.
3. Establish policies, but be the first to violate every policy you establish. This is a
great way to show everyone who’s boss. The implication should be, “I can do it, but you
cannot”. For example, establish safety policies throughout the building that ensure
coverage from the top of the hard hat to the bottom of their steel toed shoes. Then walk
around the plant in Bermuda shorts and open toed sandals. Or, send a mandate to all
personnel regarding “on time” meeting attendance, no exceptions! Then walk in 20
minutes after the start of each meeting while talking loudly on your cell phone. These
techniques help clarify to all employees what the pecking order is.
4. Do not spend a lot of time planning, organizing, strategizing, or (in short) managing. Fighting fires is the most productive use of your time. And besides, it is the
comfort zone of most top managers, since it is likely how they got where they are.
Getting involved in every problem that occurs each day shows you are a “hands on” kind
of executive - your people will respect you for it. It should be noted, however, that this
effort should not be in cooperation with the Quality Manager, as that would violate point
#1 above. Remember the goal: kill the quality critter.
5. Regarding goals, make sure all goals are short term. Yes, there is a lot of hoopla
about long term goals out there, but keep in mind all of the business factors that are
linked to short, not long, term goals: 1) your bonus plan and pay out is generally one
year, not 3 to 5 years, 2) more rapid turnover of personnel means impressions must be
made more quickly, and 3) your boss expects tangible results now. In relation to goals,
management should also avoid any clear mission or vision statements. Those things paint
top managers into a corner. The important thing is to stay fluid, flexible, ready to go in
any direction at any time. A side benefit of this is that it keeps employees on their toes,
always ready for any shift in the wind.
6. Assume the “bottom line” is really the bottom line. Financial statements like the
P&L really say it all. They are precise and clean and easy to remember. So chief
executives should focus all of their attention on financial considerations only. The CFO is
always looking after top management, to make sure their retirement is lucrative. The
CFO is the only one that cares. So, when those “quality” types present their “data”, and
“facts”, regarding customer satisfaction, problem resolution success, training
effectiveness, and other intangibles, diligently avoid rolling your eyes. Placate them with
a smile, a “well done”, and a “keep up the good work”. That has the Pavlovian effect of
making them drool. Likewise, if anyone else comes to top management with a
“suggestion”, they should assign them, the suggester, to handling the project (obviously
without the provision of resources). They’ll think twice the next time.
7. When it comes to measuring business performance, do not measure what is
important; measure only what is easy to measure. For example, measuring rework is
complicated. It means making sure the reworker reports time accurately, reasons are
tracked, graphs are made, material costs are tabulated, and on and on. A better measure is
how long the reworker takes on his breaks. Another important point regarding
performance measurements is to never measure anything that might implicate, or
embarrass top management. Keep all things regarding top manager’s performance
nebulous and circuitous. When reporting company performance to the employees speak
using steganographic jargon that only elicits a wink from your fellow execs. The amoebic
I.Q.s of the shop people will quickly cause their thoughts to shift to who’s buying the first
round at Louie’s after work.
8. Speaking of I.Q.s, never hire people smarter than you are. They may take your job
some day. Once hired, you control their breeding. Send employees to training on things
they cannot possibly implement. If they never use their training, they continue to be
unmarketable and you reduce turnover. However, Executives should not go to any
training themselves, simply because they already know everything they will ever need to
know. That, of course, does not exclude business retreats and other conferences where
they can consume copious amounts of [executive] beverages, eat [executive] foods, and
enjoy [executive] entertainment. Those things are necessary for the company’s future.
9. One of the insidious spores that emit from the quality culture is that consistency is
tantamount to quality. Consistently followed procedures, consistent motions, consistent
statistical control, and consistent processes supposedly lead to better quality and happier
customers. But that is a smokescreen for the Quality Manager’s true motive: to expose
inefficiencies in the organization! “Inefficiencies” may be translated: you. So be
inconsistent. Keep everything in a state of flux. It’s harder for people to realize the
sources of incompetence when everything is murky.
10. Finally, avoid closure at all costs. Do not finish a project, and do not let others
finish theirs. If they linger interminably, you continue to have work. The quality culture
suggests that if everything is working smoothly, they will appear unhurried, and at times,
appearing like they have nothing to do! That cannot be productive. So, support the
starting of as many projects as possible, then find reasons to prolong them, delay signing
approvals for each step of the plan, and find ways to amend, or add to, the original plan.
This includes not completely killing the quality culture. If it hangs by a thread, and is kept
on life support, that raises hope in the Quality Department. You should feel good.
So, to (almost) conclude, in order to (almost) kill the virus of the Quality Culture, 1) Hire
a Quality Manager, 2) Get a certificate for the wall, 3) Establish policies applicable to
every employee (except you obviously), 4) Fight fires!, 5) Establish short term goals, 6)
Focus on the “bottom” line, 7) Measure the easy things that do not make you look bad, 8)
Keep training in its place, 9) Keep things in a constant state of flux, and 10)