Persuasive Essay Sample
The Success of a Relationship: Why Individual Growth Matters
When two people start a romantic relationship, they at first show their best features to
partners, in order to keep them interested. However, after a while routine sets in and it
seems that there is nothing to discover. Thus, passion, that has been holding everything
together, fades away and continuing the relationship may become difficult. In most cases
love and romance are understood as a kind of merging of individualities of partners,
when each of them seeks to fulfill their own needs at the expense of another, instead of
trying to grow and develop. When one or both parts of the couple stop growing, the
relationship enters a stage of stagnation that may keep them living an unhappy life, or end
in a separation. “Relationships are like a dance, with visible energy racing back and forth
between partners. Some relationships are the slow, dark dance of death.” (Dowling,
1979). Therefore, it is important for the success of the relationship that people constantly
look for ways for individual growth.
According to recent studies, conducted in the United Kingdom of Great Britain, a focus
on infidelity as the main cause for divorce has shifted onto a phenomenon called “falling
out of love”. This phenomenon is reflected in the fact that there is nothing new to
discover about the other person and the reasons that made them fall in love fade away as
time goes by. Stated succinctly, adhering to a “comfort zone” in the relationship is rather
dangerous. A steady relationship makes the importance of personal growth easily
forgotten, because it seems that as everything works out on its own, there is no need to
make conscious contributions. Still, the truth is that improving and taking care of yourself
helps build a better and richer relationship with your partner.
The main reason why it is hard for people to keep relationships that have become insipid
is that actually few of them think of personal improvement as one of the key factors in
fixing things. Partners need to stay interesting for each other, as when there is nothing
new to discover, the relationship breaks more easily. Besides, reality shows us that to be a
couple, each partner should possess high self-esteem to cope better with possible issues.
“Partners with low self-esteem read too much into problems, seeing them as a sign that
their partner’s affections and commitment might be waning. They then derogate their
partner and reduce closeness. Being less sensitive to rejection, however, partners with
high self-esteem affirm their partner in the face of any threat. Ironically, a chronic need
for acceptance may result in low self-esteem, people seeing signs of rejection where none
exist, needlessly weakening attachments” (Murray, Rose, Bellavia, 2002)
However, many people don’t realize that maintaining relationship is a personal work.
Unrecognized and unresolved problems may result in a sequence of frustrations in the
relationship, that continue until a person realizes the real reasons for failure.
Persuasive Essay Sample
There are several necessary things to remember about a healthy relationship. Many
couples feel intimidated when they are afraid, or feel awkward to share problems or
discontent that burden them, because of the fear of being misunderstood, laughed at, or
even that relationship will break just because something was said. This fear seems
unbearable, but the fact is that trust is essential. Individuals with higher self-esteem are
more honest about what they need and want from their partners. They talk about what
relationship is lacking, instead of cheating and waiting until the partner guesses it.
Another important factor is to have friends. It is extremely harmful for couples to dwell
only on each other. New impressions, contacts and acquaintances are crucial for a healthy
relationship. Partners should also seek to be interesting to each other, learn new things to
have something to talk about and look for new ways to spend time together.
The financial side of the issue also plays its role. When both partners are economically
independent, it is less likely that one will feel stressed about being the sole breadwinner
and the other will feel insecure because of having no steady income.
Of course, there can’t be any instructions when it comes to such an intimate thing as a
relationship. Every couple should search for what works best for them. However, it can
be reasonably stated that, in order to build a strong and long-lasting relationship, people
should pay more attention to their own personalities. It is very difficult, or even
impossible, to improve the relationship itself, or change some features of a partner which
one does not like. The key point is to re-invent yourself. Despite being a seeming
paradox, actually, the more attention you pay to your own life and development, the
richer the relationship will become.
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