Composition
Show Don’t Tell Snapshot #: Acquaintance
Write a story of an incident/experience that conveys a DOMINANT IMPRESSION of a selected
acquaintance.
1) Focus on one person, one dominant trait, and one event. You may write from the first or third
person. Make your description interesting and specific.
2) SHOW, don’t tell the dominant impression through ALL of the following
a. The person’s words/language—INCLUDE DIALOGUE—at least one utterance!
b. The person’s appearance
c. The person’s actions
d. Others’ reactions to the person
e. The setting
f. Person’s inner thoughts/feelings (if written in the third person)
***DO NOT USE THE DOMINANT TRAIT WORD IN THE PIECE
3) Use descriptive language
a. Use precise, vivid words: action verbs, specific adjectives, concrete nouns
b. Use imagery—language that appeals to the five senses
c. Use one creative piece of figurative language.
FORMAT—write about 300-350 words
Put person’s name and featured trait in title:
My Meticulous Mother
DRAFT 1: Due _________________________(leave extra space between lines for revision activity)
Final draft due:____________________
Overall quality: A 60-56 B 54--49 C 48--43 D 42--37 E
 Focuses on one scenario, one character, one dominant character trait
 Character trait clearly shown through all SHOWING methods
 Diction is precise and vivid
Style requirements 10 points
_____/ 2 One sentence beginning with prepositional phrase (in, from, to , for, of, above…)
_____/ 2 One sentence beginning with a participial phrase (-ing phrase acting as adjective)
_____/2 One sentence that uses a semicolon correctly
_____/ 2 One unique and fitting piece of figurative language
_____/ 2 One effective short sentence
Mechanics _____/ 5 (-1 per error)
Prewriting: _________/ 25
Person brainstorm, show practice charts, draft and peer review, evidence of revision
Example:
Jane--Confused
In Mr. Lorenz’s algebra classroom, Jane watched fearfully as the second hand of the analog clock
made its way around the bold black digits. The end of the period was approaching. Her classmates had
long ago finished their tests and were now listening to their iPods or napping on the hard plastic desk
tops. She had struggled through problems one through eleven. Stray pink eraser stubble littered her gray
desk, and the paper was nearly sheer in some spots from her vigorous obliteration of incorrect answers.
Question number twelve was especially tricky. Tapping her gnawed-on pencil on her desk, she looked at
the sample problem Mr. Lorenz had so mercifully put atop the test to help his students. To Jane this
helpful sample was nothing more than a cryptic arrangement of letters that produced a solution she could
never understand.
“Remember Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally and FOIL,” he quietly reminded her as he walked
past her desk to collect the others’ completed tests.
“Um, what’s FOIL?” she asked timidly.
He stopped his trek around the room and gave her a disappointed glance; he had offered to work
with her after school the day before and she never showed. Others, sensing the tension, looked up
uncomfortably. When Jane glanced at them, they quickly reverted their gazes to their iPod screens.
I should have stayed for extra help yesterday, Jane thought to herself. She looked back at the
problem. She knew she had to isolate x, but how? Should she divide the equation by 3y or multiply it?
Should she add 6 first, or should she solve for x first? Absentmindedly, she scratched her scalp with her
pencil, and then with a sudden sense of panic, looked back at the clock, who, like a schoolyard bully,
teamed up with the puzzling equation against her.
Abandoning the problem, Jane flipped her paper over. Six more equations stared at her
dauntingly. The bell rang.
(322 words)