Coaching Conversations for Improvement
CCSA, Spring 2015
Note Guide
5 Steps
I.
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Conversations I have had that didn’t go well or a conversation I am avoiding:
II.
________________________________________ Setting:______________________________
What are 5 questions I need to ask myself?
1.
2.
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4.
5.
III.
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What are my facts:
KISS Method - Limit the opening to ________seconds.
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Facts not ________________________.
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Here’s ______________________ on it.
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What’s __________________________?
IV.
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Tips from my table mates:
V.
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Practical tips from my table mates:
SuPPort ImProvement:
P_________________
P_________________
P_________________
Reasons for Avoiding Hard Conversations with Teachers:
Reason 1: A Desire to Please (Code 539760)
 I don’t want to look mean.
 I want people to like me and to respect me.
Reason 2: Personal Safety (Code 539761)
 I want everything to remain OK- no anger or tears.
 I would rather avoid any emotional or physical pain.
 I am intimidated. My colleague is very aggressive. It is scary to deal with him.
Reason 3: Personal Comfort (Code 539762)
 I like it easy emotionally and with work- no waves.
 It will take so much effort to do what I need to do if this starts.
Reason 4: Fear of the Unknown (Code 539763)
 I’d rather live with the status quo (even if it makes me sick) than take on the unknown.
Reason 5: No Sense of Urgency (For You) (Code 539764)
 Not enough kids in the room are affected so let’s not make a big deal out of it.
 She’s been through the workshop, so let’s give it time and see if things change. There’s no big crisis yet.
Reason 6: Passive Culture (Code 539765)
 The culture doesn’t address problems head on.
Reason 7: Waiting for the Perfect Moment (Code 539766)
 I can’t do it until I know more about the teacher and/ or the situation.
Reason 8: Perfectionism (Code 539770)
 I don’t have the right words yet.
Reason 9: Distrust of Oneself and Others (Code 539771)
 I don’t trust my gut to be right.
 I am too judgmental, and maybe this is just another example.
Reason 10: Too Close to Home (Code 539772)
 This is a small town. She knows my dog’s name. My kid plays with her kid. I need to keep this relationship the
way it is and not rock the boat.
Reason 11: Conflict with Beliefs or Values (Code 539775)
 I don’t agree with the program they are asking me to coach, and I just feel awkward.
Reason 12: Fatigue (Code 539776)
 I just don’t have the energy today.
 I just cannot fight this battle again.
 They already think I am too touchy-feely.
Reason 13: Personality or Intent (Code 539777)
 He is a nice person overall.
 She didn’t mean it.
Reason 14: Fear of Kicking Somebody Who is Already Down (Code 539780)
 I don’t think she’ll be able to take it. It will overwhelm her.
Modified from Jennifer Abrams’ Having Hard Conversations
Step 2: Possible Questions to Ask Myself before the Conversation
Timing
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Stakes
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W hat is the intensity of this need? Does it need to be handled now or can it wait?
Is this a good time to take a risk and pose a challenge?
Am I in the right frame of mind to say something or will I become too emotional?
Is this the time for my colleague to hear this? Can he/she hear this now? Or is his/her stress level so high it wouldn’t be
heard?
Do I have enough information and accurate information about this situation?
How high are the stakes for the different parties involved? Is the issue under discussion important enough to have a debate?
If I speak up, who or what else will this affect? W hat is the ripple effect?
Are the negative effects greater than the potential gains if I choose to speak up?
How important is it for the students or staff that I bring this up?
Is this situation in the classroom unsafe or damaging to students or staff?
Is this something human resources need to know about? Is this a contractual situation?
W hat rights do I have? What rights does he/she have?
W hat would happen if I didn’t have the conversation?
Likelihood of Success
 How promising are the intended results?
 Have I thought through the real problem and have it well articulated myself?
 Has this issue come up before? Is it a pattern?
 If I bring this issue up do I have an action plan thought out? Can I support my colleague through the changes I would like to
see? Do I have a game plan in mind?
 If I say something, is it going to move the person’s professional work forward?
Options
 Has the person been given the opportunity to self-discover this issue and is it on his/her plate?
 Have I tried to bring it up before and what was the response? Is there a way I could help them see it is a concern without
going into ‘‘hard conversation’’ mode?
 W hat am I trying to accomplish and if I speak up will it move me toward or away from that goal?
 W hat are some other ways of thinking about this? Has this always been the case or have there been times when something
different has happened?
Personal Association- Personal Perspective
 Will this be seen as only ‘‘my issue’’? Am I outside the interaction and yet commenting on it
with ‘‘heat’’?
 Can I say what I want to say and still project acceptance of this person?
 Do I have a positive, trusting relationship with this person so I can bring up this concern and
have it heard?
 By my silence does this person think I agree with his/her perspective/behavior? Is that ok?
 Is there a cultural lens I am wearing that I need to acknowledge before having the conversation?
 How do my beliefs guide me to think this way, and how might other beliefs alter my thinking?
 If I trusted this person’s intentions would I interpret his/her responses differently?
 W hy do I hold on so strongly to this view?
Do-ability
 Is there specific and reliable evidence I can share?
 Have I thought through why the person might be behaving this way?
 W hat external or internal factors are affecting the person? Motivations?
 Can I see the actions through the lens of positive intentions?
 Is the behavior I am proposing do-able/teach-able for this individual?