Des Moines Register
06-04-07
If a chaplain comforts athletes, where's the solace for poor fans?
By HERB STRENTZ
IOWA VIEW
Verily, I say unto thee, blessed are the athletic directors, for theirs are the profits
wrought by combining season-ticket sales with the Hawkeye game.
OK, so the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5 suffers a bit when such Cyclone
scripture is inserted. But get used to it.
This fall Cy will call down the wrath of the Almighty on football referees, "Having
eyes do you not see?" (Mark 8:18)
And athletes who ignore off-season conditioning programs can remind the coach,
"The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong." (Ecclesiastes 9:11) A
derelict defensive back can chime in, too, with "He who is swift of foot shall not
save himself." (Amos 2:15)
And while it may be pushing the envelope to include comments about Passover
or about an offensive tackle who misses a block - "I gave my back to the smiters"
(Isaiah 50:6) - one does wonder if all bets are off when Iowa State proposes
providing a chaplain for the team.
One for the fans? Maybe. But the team?
Nevertheless, a chaplain for the Cyclone football team is what Athletic Director
Jamie Pollard and head coach Gene Chizik have in mind.
"The position is being completely funded by donations made by private
individuals who have chosen to support our desire to provide" a chaplain for
student athletes, Pollard wrote.
Pollard cast himself on the side of the angels with Brit Benjamin Disraeli, who in
1864 appealed to the fundamentalists amongst us: "The question is, is man an
ape or an angel? I am on the side of the angels."
Somewhat less elegantly, Pollard tossed in a red herring, with the line that having
a chaplain "is a topic that often is viewed as politically incorrect."
Politically incorrect?
Nope, well-trained chaplains have served society well in prisons, battlefields and
even - horrors - legislative chambers. Nothing really politically incorrect about
that; we've grown accustomed to it.
But consider what raising funds for a football-team chaplain suggests:
- For decades, the university has failed to meet the counseling needs of students
and only now is facing up to it.
- The student services provided at Iowa State are inadequate. However, the nonathletes - who do not have supporters to throw money at them - will have to cope
with their angst on their own. Athletes again get special treatment.
- The Cyclones don't want an extra counselor, adviser, social worker or probation
officer to help athletes over the rough spots. Only a chaplain will do.
For these and other reasons, about 100 ISU faculty have signed a petition
suggesting that students are best served by their own clergy or by university staff
counselors. Good luck to them and their reason - and logic-driven delusions.
The smart money is on Father Cy roaming the sidelines in the fall. Fits right in
with others who trivialize religious faith by thanking the Almighty for cutting a few
hundredths of a second off their time in the 800 meters or, in a more spiritual
way, helping them beat the hell out of Baylor.
Thumping Oklahoma will require at least a monsignor, cardinal or bishop.
Meantime, Cyclone fans and faculty will have to find solace on their own.
HERB STRENTZ of Urbandale is a Drake University emeritus professor of
journalism and mass communication.