This program was designed
with excerpts from
presentations by the following :
• Sue Wesner, RN, MSN, CS
Service for teens at Risk
Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic
• Mrs. Debra McDermott
• The Grieving Process-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
• The Healing Process-William Worden (1982)
Grief from Loss
There are various things that occur where we
experience grief associated with some kind of
loss.
1 Brainstorm different examples from the
movie
2 discuss-age related for death, divorce,
disease, other losses (moving, college
choice, sports, roles in play, musical,
honors band, chorus, etc
THE HEALING PROCESS
William Worden (1982)
Is different for everyone based on perception of the
situation (closeness) and you
William Worden (1982)
• 1. Accept the reality of the loss
– This is the coulda, woulda, shoulda phase
– Yes - it did happen
May be different for everyone and
completion of this step in healing may also vary
in length
DENYING REALITY
• William Worden 1982
Denial is often the first reaction (review -our
mental/emotional defense mechanisms
Sometimes affected by How they died or
How our loss occurred.
DENYING REALITY
Examples of Denial:
“This can’t be happening”
Refusal to believe the loss has occurred.
????
Acts as a “buffer” to give you a chance to
process the loss
BARGAINING FOR CHANGE
OF REALITY
Bargaining
• “I’d do anything to have them back”.
• If I do this ______, then this ______
• Making promises to change if the loss is
returned to them.
• The final attempt to avoid the TRUTH.
Accepting Reality
Acceptance
This doesn’t mean you have to be okay with
the loss, just that you know it is reality and
you are ready to heal from it.
William Worden (1982)
• 2. Experience
the PAIN of the loss
People tend to suppress (defense mechanism) grief because it’s
painful and not always “convenient”
May be different for everyone and, again, completion
of this step in the healing process may also vary in
length
How might this experience affect us?
Experiencing Grief/Loss-ANGER
Anger
Why?
Fairness
Blame yourself or even others for the loss.
Effects -different ways and to
different degrees for everyone
•
•
•
•
Physical reactions
Cognitive - “Brain Drain”
Behavior
Emotions
Physical Reactions to Grief/Trauma
•Appetite changes
•Feeling of choking
•Dry mouth
•Shortness of breath/yawning
•Chest tightness
•Weakness
•Fatigue
•Exhaustion
•GI Disturbances
•Headaches/dizziness
•Panic Attacks
•Sleep disturbances
??
Cognitive
(brain drain) reactions ?????????
– Trauma re-wires the brain. Why?
– The mind is so distracted that it’s difficult to focus on
details.
– Preoccupation with images and thoughts of the
loss/person
– Concentration is at a minimum.
• Weakened memory skills
• Difficulty in decision-making
Behavior - Reactions to Grief

Disruptions of perceived “normalcy”
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
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Difficulty following daily patterns/habits
Disorganized
Restless
Difficulty in decision-making
Old life and patterns lose meaning
Emotions- Reactions to Grief

Sadness, anger, anxiety,
loneliness, and guilt

Grief can be overwhelming
Function vs. dysfunction
 Very similar to an anxiety disorder
 May need help to deal with it

Coming out of loss/grief

Emotional roller coaster can eventually
turn into a new equilibrium for
functioning.

May ride this coaster multiple times

Age-related/ maturity related
May need help to deal with it

you learn to deal/cope with it and…>
EMOTIONS
Situational Depression/Sadness
PERCEPTION OF THE WORLD CHANGES!
• There is no hope, I just want to be left
alone.
• A natural and important emotion(sadness)
to cope.
May look for help from our personal support
group ( who would YOU go to first?) or
from a professional counselor.
Crisis Intervention Tips
(for self and others)

FUNCTIION VS DYSFUNCTION
We cannot be responsible for others
behaviors.

However, we can be aware, supportive, and
positive in our efforts to develop and protect
good Mental Health in ourselves and others.

GET HELP from professionals.
William Worden (1982)
3. Readjust
the environment
• Figure out who/what is important to you
• Choices about your
• thoughts and actions
William Worden (1982)
4. Reinvest
emotional energy in
other relationships (or things)
Examples: ??
• This not that
• “The broken road that led me straight to you”
Focus on what we
Can
Do

Recognize and manage negative thoughts and
emotions

Understand stress and identify stressors

Develop coping skills

Make healthier choices in both your
thoughts and actions
Focus on what we
Can
Do
It’s YOUR life, YOUR book chapter by chapter