Understanding and
Strengthening Motherhood
Lili Anderson, MSW, PhD
Christian B. Anderson, MSW
Family Outreach Conference
6 February 2004
How does the loss of values
happen?
Vice is a creature of such frightful mien
That to be hated needs but to be seen.
But seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace.
Alexander Pope
Consider “Free Love”
first - rejected by middle classes
then - crept into media
gradually - seen as personal choice
now - U.N. issues statement that child
sexuality be uninhibited by adults
A Family Problem:
The Loss of Value for Mother Work
Children are a liability
Home is consumptive not productive
Loss of household partnership
Industrialization creates “Experts” who can do
mother work better - scientifically
Industrialization creates a loss of inter-generational
exchange, tutoring, wisdom
Feminist influence decreased “mother preparation”
Outcomes
• Low status (negative recognition) drives
women out of the home
• Divorce
• Economic Vulnerability
• “Super Mom” -Increased stress/expectations
(have it all, do it all, be it all - for kids and
mothers)
Cont’d.
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Mothers depressed
Sometimes violent
Unprepared mothers are overwhelmed
Easier success outside the home
We and our children are not
unaffected•
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Later marriage
Fewer children
Domestic Violence
Many more women working outside the
home
• Divorce
• Fastest growing demographic group in the
Church
Philosophically • Should men have to support a family?
• Why should I expect a man to open my
door?
• Aren’t dads and moms interchangeable?
• Preschool is essential.
• Being at home full-time isn’t enough for
many women.
The World’s Answer
• Individuals are defined by “economic
value”
• So - women should follow the “male
competitive model”
Costs:
Childlessness (fertility issues)
“Having it All means Doing it All”
“The Most Important Story Never Told”
Two-Income Trap
Lack of value for Mother Work brings
economic vulnerability in divorce and/or
old age
The World’s Response to Costs:
• Government subsidies to motherhood
• Private Sector pro-family policies (parental leave,
shorter work weeks, flex time, etc.)
• Better and less expensive day-care
However - Costs are enormous and these policies result in
growing hostility between parents and non-parents
The Real Answers
• Understand the Plan
• Recognize Equal Value of Men and
Women and of Men’s and Women’s
Contributions
• Recognize and Value Gender Differences
Some Qualities of Men
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Linear Thinking
Drive to compete
Drive to conquer
Willingness to fight
Some Qualities of Women
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Multi-tasking
Inter-relational awareness
“Connectedness” with children
Civilizing influence on men and society
A Testimony of Motherhood
A call to work with the particular spirits that
come into our families
Seeing motherhood as God does (not just
housekeeping and daycare, but teaching,
transferring values, etc.)
Understanding the potential for joy in
fulfilling the role of motherhood
Rooting out the philosophies of the world
The Practical Knowledge and
Skills of Motherhood
Developing “virtuous women” qualities
• Parenting, including teaching at many
levels
• Household Tasks
• Domestic Arts
• Proverbs 31
Righteous Priesthood Support
in Healthy Marriage
The Patriarchal Order, cont’d.
• Get Revelation for the Family
• We “live beneath our privilege”
• We’re becoming a “mediocre people” (Joseph Fielding Smith)
• “. . . If you would be righteous like your Heavenly Father, His
righteousness comes by revelation, through your faith. Be
content with nothing short of the revealed will of your
Heavenly Father . . . “ (BY, HK, WR Oct. 13, 1853)
• “The principles of learning by revelation are faith, humility,
seeking by prayer, obedience to the Lord’s commandments,
repentance, good works, and scripture study.” (Elder Dallin H.
Oaks, The Lord’s Way)
Righteous Priesthood Support
in Healthy Marriage
The Patriarchal Order, cont’d.
Precepts Outlined in The Family: A Proclamation
To The World
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Physical and Economic Protection and Support
Recognition and support of the division of labor
Providing Recognition
Section 121: No power or influence can or ought to
be maintained by virtue of the priesthood only by
persuasion . . . (emphasis added)
Righteous Priesthood Support
in Healthy Marriage
The Patriarchal Order, cont’d.
• The Need for Righteous Judgment
• “Judge not unrighteously. . .” JST Matthew 7:1
• “. . . It is given unto you to judge, that ye may know
good from evil; . . .” Moroni 7:15
We warn that individuals who violate
covenants of chastity, who abuse
spouse or offspring, or who fail to
fulfill family responsibilities will one
day stand accountable before God.
Further, we warn that the
disintegration of the family will bring
upon individuals, communities, and
nations the calamities foretold by
ancient and modern prophets.
We call upon responsible citizens and officers
of government everywhere to promote those
measures designed to maintain and
strengthen the family as the fundamental
unit of society.