Amy Allen
Health Behavior
PART I: Self Assessment
Health Behaviors Satisfied With
Flossing teeth
Aerobic Exercise
Moderate Drinker
Non Tobacco user
Sexually Abstinent / Monogamous
Maintain healthy Family relationships
Effective Study Skills
Seek Spiritual Growth
Read non textbooks
Enjoy hobbies
Limit TV viewing
Wear Seatbelt
Drink Enough Water
Strength Conditioning
Eat fruits and vegetables
Wear bike helmet
No drug use
Maintain Healthy Friendships
Limit Exposure to violence in media
Manage emotions well
Health Behaviors Unsatisfied With
Limiting Junk Food
Limit Dietary Fat
Drive at speed limit
Strong Communication Skills
Can talk about problems with others
Self Confidence/Esteem
Keep informed of national/world Events
Sleep
Not assertive enough/being taken advantage of
Apologizing too much
INTRODUCTION
There are several behaviors I engage in that are unhealthy and need to be modified. One of
these behaviors is snacking on junk foods too much to be considered healthy. Some of the more
serious behaviors I practice which need changing involve a combination of things. I allow my male
peers to take advantage of me because of my lack of assertiveness. The third behavior I participate in is
I apologize when it’s unnecessary. These are only three behaviors I need to consider changing. The
book, Changing for Good proposes there are six stages to complete change. The six stages are precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, and termination. I am in the
contemplation stage for of limiting my junk food consumption; I am in the contemplation stage for my
sleep habits and I am in the preparation stage for apologizing only when necessary and becoming more
assertive.
Behavior # 1: SNACKING ON TOO MANY COOKIES
In the contemplation stage people acknowledge a problem begin to think about changing it. I
definitely have a problem when it comes to snacks. Snacks that have less than 30% of calories from
fat are considered acceptable. Many people recommend that three snacks should be consumed a day
between meals. These snacks should be small and healthy such as fruit. When I come home from
school, I’m starving and I find myself raiding the pantry. I engage in an unhealthy feast of food,
particularly cookies. Cookies are my weakness. I have no self control when it comes to cookies. I am
a cookie monster which is hazardous to my health considering there are no nutritional benefits from
cookies. If there are cookies I will consume them and in large quantities. I know that an apple or
banana is also a suitable and easy snack but they don’t seem to satisfy my hunger or craving like
cookies do. If there aren’t cookies in the house, I will make cookies from scratch to satisfy my needs.
I rationalize my cookie addiction because I always drink milk with my cookies. I can’t eat cookies
without milk. I know I’m getting some type of nutrient when I eat cookies even though it’s not from
the cookies themselves. I’ll eat cookies when I come home from school because I crave them during
the day. When I’m driving home from school I look forward to eating cookies. When I come home
from school, after not eating all day, I don’t feel like cooking “real” food because I’m hungry and it
takes too long. This problem could be solved if I took the time to pack my lunch and snacks for
school. Then, maybe when I came home I wouldn’t be starving and I would be more likely to spend
the time to make a meal. Eating too many cookies is a habit I have had since elementary school. It
needs to end because it’s unhealthy, and eventually, when I grow older my metabolism will slow down
and I will get fat. Everyone has their favorite food to indulge in; mine is cookies. I would lose weight
if I didn’t consume so many cookies. My best friend the other day said, “Amy, you know that 80% of
your diet consists of cookies?” She was exaggerating, but because she pointed it out to me I realized
that I really do have an unhealthy addiction to cookies. Other behaviors take priority over my
indulging in cookies therefore I am still in the contemplation stage for this behavior.
Behavior # 2: Apologizing too much
The preparation stage can be described as when someone knows they have a problem and is
willing to change. Apologizing too much is a serious problem. When I’m around men I feel inferior
to them and seem to apologize a lot. If THEY step on MY foot I’ll apologize for being in the way. If
I’m picking up a mess with a sponge that they made, I’ll apologize for taking too long. It’s a reflex
and it has become so bad people even notice it. “What are you sorry for?” they ask. Just last week
someone didn’t catch the pong ball, so I got it and threw it back to them, on it’s way it hit the ceiling.
It still arrived at the right destination but I apologized for the balls detoured route. Apologizing so
much must have to do with a lack of self confidence. It does happen around females but not nearly as
often as it happens around men. I know I have a problem and have even tried to focus more on how
much I say sorry to prevent me from saying it. I haven’t been too successful. It certainly isn’t logical
to blame myself for everything. I’m in the preparation stage because I recognize the behavior and
want to take the steps necessary to casually address it soon. I would like to pay more attention to how
often the behavior happens. I think I apologize for everything because I always seem to be the
scapegoat and I apologize out of habit. Even when I was younger and I didn’t do anything wrong my
dad would blame me because I was the most convenient. If a light was left on in a room that no one
was using or the computer froze when I happened to be on it, I always got blamed. If there was clutter
sitting on the steps my dad would just assume it was mine and yell at me for it.
him that it could possibly be my sister Allison’s belongings.
It never occurred to
When I hang out with other people, I
don’t them to yell at me so I apologize for a lot of things before they get the opportunity to scold me.
It doesn’t make sense to think that someone will get mad at me for doing silly things, but when I
apologize it’s almost natural, like a reflex.
Behavior # 3: Lack of Assertiveness with Male Peers
Another behavior I engage in, related to apologizing too much, is not being assertive enough
which allows my male peers to take advantage of me. If a guy needs another drink I’ll more than
happily fill his cup up for him. If there is a spill across the room that I didn’t contribute to I will clean
it up. If I walk into one of my friend’s apartment and their bathroom is dirty and they request that I
clean it, and they beg, I will. One time I was at a party and my friend said, “Amy, my shoe is untied
will you PLEASSE tie it for me.” After several minutes of persuasion I eventually got down on both
hands and knees and tied his shoe for him. Someone even took a picture of it. I can’t think of
anything more degrading. I thought to myself, “Why did I do that?” He is completely capable of tying
his shoes. We learned how to tie shoes in elementary school. It’s not fair that he’s taking advantage of
me. He knew I would say yes.
There is no set expectation of this behavior in the book. I don’t think many people follow this
behavior. I want to become more assertive. It’s hard now, I feel I’m expected to fill up peoples cups,
clean up messes and do people favors. If I say no, it would feel mean or I would let people down. I
like to engage in the behavior because I know it makes people slightly happy and allows them to be
lazy; they don’t have to do anything because I will do it for them. I am in the preparation stage for this
behavior. I am ready and willing to take the necessary steps to address this behavior.
Discussion of behavior Chosen to Change
While all three habits are serious and need to be taken care of, the one that most affects my life
in a negative way is lacking assertiveness and allowing male peers to take advantage of me. Some
things that contribute to my lack of assertiveness are my low self confidence in social situations and
my inferiority complex toward men. For example if a man asks me to get them another drink, or clean
off the counter, or make him food, I will because that’s what I believe a woman is supposed to do for a
man. Mike, who takes advantage of me the most, is the one who notices the behavior the most. Mike
plays Rowan Ice Hockey and I manage the team. I’m always around him because we travel to games
on the bus together, and socialize after games together with the rest of the team. He occasionally calls
me when he needs his apartment cleaned and then pays me a minimal amount to do it. Instead of
saying yes, I should stand up for myself and request a higher payment or not perform the deed at all.
Mike teases me about how I do everything for people all the time and let them take advantage of me.
Once, he told me it’s annoying how I don’t stand up for myself. I don’t even have much of a problem
with that, cleaning up after guys or making them meals, but I want them to respect me for it not take
advantage of my kindness and lack of self confidence. This behavior is serious and if changed, would
have the most positive benefit in my life.
Counseling Support Conversations
Session 1:
As the counselor I felt awkward because I have never done formal counseling before. I was
slightly uncomfortable being the counselor. I need to get used to waiting for replies and moments of
silence. A couple times, I felt the urge to relate my experiences to Will’s, but I didn’t, feeling it was
inappropriate.
Being the client was difficult too, but not as hard as being the counselor.
It was awkward
opening up to Will at first. I find it difficult to open up to people that I do know, but to a stranger was
more difficult. Will however, was excellent at making me feel comfortable and easy to talk to. I
wanted advice from him though, which isn’t the role of a counselor. When our session was formally
over “off the record” I asked him what he thought I could do to help with my behavior change. He
made several suggestions that really helped me progress with my goals.
Session 2:
During the second session Will was a good listener. By the time we met a second time I had
made so much progress in my goals I told will everything. Will asked me questions. I told him all my
progress and he listened without interrupting and told me. The suggestions he had made worked well
from the previous session. This session was easier to talk to Will.
Will also progressed during the second session. He really understood that his procrastination
was having a negative effect on his life and he talked about where it had originated from. I asked Will
questions trying to get him to understand why he does procrastinate. I did better the second time, I
didn’t have as many urges to tell him stories relating to my life and procrastinating. I listened to Will
and asked him how he thought about suing a day planner.
Session 3:
During the third session, Will asked me questions about more progress I had made and we
talked about them. I was so happy about my progress and Will took notice of this. He said he was
happy for me that I had made such a difference in my behavior.
When I spoke to Will as the counselor we talked about other strategies he could make to help
him with his procrastination problems. I don’t feel like I did a very good job as a counselor because
Will still seems to procrastinate a lot. I tried to encourage him to continue working at it and offered to
help him if he needed me. Overall, Will was a much better counselor than me.
PART II: Working within My Stage
I am currently in the preparation stage and am ready to take action soon to help my behavior
change occur. There are different processes recommended in the book to do, some of which seem
helpful, others a nuisance because I don’t see how they would apply to my behavior change. One of
the suggestions was to make a list of the benefits of my behavior changing. I’m more motivated to
achieve those results because I can see them on a list.
If I stop allowing my male peers to take a advantage of me and I stand up for myself people
will:
a.) RESPECT me more
b.) Obviously won’t take advantage of me as much/see me as an equal
c.) I’ll be more confident.
d.) I’ll be able to develop more meaningful relationships with people.
e.) I’ll feel better about myself.
Turn away from old behavior
I like the fact I make people happy because I do favors for them. However, it has gotten to the
point where people know I will do favors for them, so they take advantage of the favors I do for them.
I have no issue taking the necessary steps to fix this. For example, I offered to get someone a drink
once, now they continually ask me to refill their glass. I offered to take someone’s coat to put it on the
bed a couple weeks later they asked me to tie their shoe. I know it will be hard to change, but the
outcome will be a positive one.
Make change a Priority
Changing is a priority on my list. Just last week someone dropped their phone and broke it so
people began the “asshole’ chant. People do this when someone does something clumsy or ridiculous;
it’s in a joking way. I bent down to pretend that I broke the phone and took the asshole chant for
myself. That was the turning point and when I decided I needed to change. I said, “Wow, that’s little
extreme; this needs to change.”
Take Small Steps
Taking small or baby steps is essential for achieving a goal. In my case, one of the small steps
I’m going to take is simple. If someone asks me to fill their drink I’ll only fill it up if I need a drink
too. There is no reason for me to make two trips to fill up drinks.
Set a Date
Setting a time frame is critical for a behavior change. I plan on taking some of the necessary
steps to start changing my behavior change on Wednesday October 10th. Wednesday nights I usually
hang out with lots of my friends particularly my male peers, so this would be an opportunity to start
making small changes in my behavior.
Go Public
It is recommended to go public with behavior changes and yield support from friends and
family. I don’t know that I am ready to do that. Perhaps I would mention to them that I am doing a
project for class and the behavior change I chose is my male peers will no longer take advantage of me
and I’ll stick up for myself but I would not bring the topic up randomly.
Create your own plan of Action
My behavior is measurable and I know when I do it. However, it will be slightly more difficult
to find strategies to take it. I am a very anal person and like to make lists. Hopefully, writing some
guidelines will aid me in following them.
1.) Try not to perform ridiculous or unnecessary activities. Examples of being ridiculously
unnecessary activities are cleaning up a mess that I wasn’t responsible for that happened across
the room, filling up someone’s glass, tying peoples shoes, cleaning someone’s bathroom,
washing windows, walking to my car across campus to drive back to give someone a ride,
cooking meals for guys and doing all the dishes.
2.) Don’t go out of my way to perform an activity. If something spills on the other side of the
room I’ll let someone else clean it up. I won’t fill up someone’s cup unless I’m filling mine up
too or are very nearby the kitchen. However if something spills nearby me I will most likely
clean it up.
3.) Stand up for myself and say no. Often times one of the problems is that I am easily
persuaded to do mom type things for people like cleaning, cooking, waiting on people etc. Part
of this is probably because when my mom died I didn’t have anybody to do those things for me
so I had to do them myself. I do them for other people in hopes that someday, someone will do
them for me. Eventually, before the end of my behavior change project, I’d like to say no. It
might not seem like a big deal to most people, but saying no will be a huge step in the process.
When I can tell someone, “No. I won’t fill up your drink,” I know I will have made an
improvement in my behavior and it will be an accomplishment. I think I will be able to focus
best on this behavior change if I write about my experiences relating to my behavior. By
writing in the logs, and talking to someone who will LISTEN, it will help me to successfully
make an improvement in my behavior.
Commitment of Self Assessment
In order to take effective action an acceptable score for this assessment was fourteen. I scored
a sixteen. I am completely committed to making this behavior change happen. It has been too long
since I have stood up for myself and not allowed male peers to take advantage of me. I now have the
time to set aside to focus on this issue because it is being guided through the classroom. I’m also
excited to start making changes and practicing the rule I made for myself to see if there is a difference.
Decisional Balance
Few cons are present for my behavior change. My friends might not be happy or accepting at
first with my new attitude. My behavior change will also be difficult and I’ll have to put a lot of time
into it. The pros of my behavior change completely outweigh the cons. I know that I would be
healthier if I change, people would eventually feel better about me if I change, I would be happier if I
change, and people would respect me more if I change. I know in the whole picture everything will be
better once I engage in the new behavior.
Part III: Discussion
During the beginning of my behavior change I was in preparation. I knew that I had a serious
problem that needed to be changed and I was ready to take the necessary steps to achieve my goal. As
soon as I wrote the first log I looked at it and thought that “Wow; I really am a mess and need help.”
From that point I called some friends and had a few meaningful conversations. Will was also helpful
during the counseling sessions. After reflecting on my first log I noticed how serious my behavior was
and immediately started taking action.
My action plan wasn’t as structured as I would have liked it to be. It was difficult to develop a
plan because my behavior wasn’t even discussed in Changing for Good. A lot of my behavior change
steps I had to experiment with and see what worked the best and what was most effective. I’m glad I
didn’t participate in the original plan of tapering my habits. It was unrealistic and I would have gotten
discouraged when I didn’t achieve my goal for the week. I tried to open up a lot in my logs to think
about my actions better. The comments I received from them were also motivating. My friends
noticed small changes too. I said no for the first time and they all made a big deal about it. ‘Stat Girl
just said no. She never says no. What happened?” They also made several other comments throughout
the six weeks that I also found encouraging. Changing my behavior wasn’t as difficult as I anticipated
it would be. Although, I think my change would have been significantly more difficult had my friends
not have been so supportive. Anytime someone made a positive comment about my behavior, I
worked harder to improve at it because I saw the difference in the way they treated me and I liked it.
They respect me more than ever and that means so much to me.
Writing in the journal, talking to friends, and talking with Dr. Spencer were all effective ways
that helped me reach my behavior goal. When I went to speak to a counselor, I wasn’t ready or
enthusiastic about it. I wasn’t comfortable talking to them, or opening up during the session. As a
result, it wasn’t very productive.
Six weeks have passed in my behavior change goal. I went from the preparation stage to action
stage in about a week and a half. I’m still in the action stage, and hopefully within the next six months
I will progress to maintenance. I’m not perfect because occasionally, I still do some things that aren’t
really necessary. However, I have improved a great deal and am continuing to work on making more
progress. I’m so happy with the tremendous amount of progress I have made. Not only do I plan to
continue practicing my new behavior, I also plan on working on another behavior. Hopefully the
results will be just as awarding. Now that people don’t seem to take advantage of me as much I’d like
to work on not apologizing as often.