Living Authentically:
transparency, humility,
authenticity
Dr. Karen A. Dowling
Indiana Wesleyan University
June 2014
au·then·tic
adjective \ə-ˈthen-tik
: real or genuine : not copied or false
: true and accurate
: made to be or look just like an original
Humility
Can be viewed as low-regard, meekness, permissiveness –
in essence a weakness -by those adhering to a “strong
leader” paradigm
Leadership for teacher leaders (ethics
paradigm)
Leadership characteristics (strong leader
paradigm)
Decisive
Powerful
Masculine
Driven
Self-assured
Fearless
Risk-taking
Competitive
The
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for humility
Remain humble
Coach by questioning
Truly care about team members as people
Take the moral ground
Become a consensus builder
“Humility leads to strength and not to
weakness: It is the highest form of selfrespect to admit mistakes and to make
amends for them.”
John J. McCloy
If ethics is the study of values and customs
of a particular person or group, then
leadership ethics is the study of the values
and customs of those who lead or seek to
lead.
Humility is a primary ethical consideration.
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s
thinking of yourself less”
-C. S. Lewis
5 Ways To Teach Humility
1. Build Confidence: Often what passes
for arrogance is actually fear. Some leaders
attempt to “humble” other leaders or “put
them in their place” through public criticism
or embarrassment. This tactic actually has
the opposite impact. We need teacher
leaders who are confident enough to not
need to talk about it.
5 Ways To Teach Humility
2. Teach the Art of Great Questions:
Teach the art of provocative questions.
Teach the power of pause. Ask your own
questions “what does your team think about
this idea?” “Who did you involve in this
decision?”
Questions that Intimidate and
Disengage
What do I have to do to get you to.
Why did you do that?
Did I ask you to do that?
Is that really working?
What is your experience in this area?
Who gave you the authority to make that
decision?
Is that your final decision?
Are you sure about that?
What makes you think that will work?
3. Get Them Out of Their Comfort
Zone: Give them a stretch assignment or
project in an area they know nothing about.
Nothing is more humbling than being
clueless. Put them in arenas where they
must rely on their team or peers to be
successful.
4. Give them tools to manage their
blind spots: Do a 360 assessment. Give
them a coach. Encourage your team to
surface and work through their own
conflicts.
5. Model it
• Be a servant leader
• Admit when you are wrong
• Coach privately
• Recognize, honor and reward humble behaviors on
teams, as ironic as this sounds. Minimize desire
for folks to “toot their own horn” by tooting it for
them.
• Reject special treatment, even when it’s
convenient. Live by the same rules and standards
you expect your team to uphold.
“Humility is how we express our delight–
how we appreciate the simple pleasures
and great joys. And equally, humility is
how we open to life’s inconveniences and
devastating tragedies. When we are
humble, no experience is beneath us, no
colleague is unworthy, no moment does
not merit our full attention. Because we
are humble, we do not pick and choose–
savoring only the tasty parts of life and
leaving the rest for others. We are wiling
to experience the entire situation directly
and work with every detail.” ~ Michael
Carroll on the talent of humility
Leading peers:
pride, purpose, positive, persistence
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Pride, while understandably difficult to recognize, has presented the biggest
hurdle. Get a bunch of highly motivated and charged individuals to attack a
problem and you are bound to have people that think their way of doing things is
the best and only way.
Stay tied to the mission, vision and purpose. When you can stay focused on the
core objective, it closes off some of the paths for ideas that do not apply to what is
being accomplished.
Foster positive conflict. Positive conflict is one of the greatest tools for overcoming
a wide range of problems in a team. If everyone is on-board with this, the group as
a whole will accept all ideas, but as a whole will choose the ones that will work
best for the objective at hand.
Accountability in a team means you do what you committed to doing. And
everyone must hold everyone accountable for their commitments. If one is
committed to doing something, then one should do everything they can to
complete it or should give advance notice and ask for help. A leader needs to be
confident enough to confront others that are not fulfilling their commitments. This
might be better done publicly or privately depending on the circumstance. Also as
the leader, you best be completing your assignments, if you want others to
complete theirs.
“What the world needs now is more geniuses
with humility, there are so few of us left.”
The first step is
admitting that you’re
struggling with pride.
9 Ways Confident Leaders Express
Humility
Understand they don’t have all the answers– and search for more
Attract those who will tell the truth– and be able to hear them
Reflect on their own leadership– and seek out change as needed
Read about other approaches– and adjust
Seek out mentors– from all levels
Share more about themselves and create connections
Seek to learn about the people they work with– and see them as
people
• Try out new behaviors and ask for feedback
• Take stands against the politically correct choice
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Transparent leaders are authentic and deliver
their brand of honesty with respect and concern
for others. There are no hidden agendas.
Information is shared openly, yet appropriately.
Transparency Check
1- weak 5-strong
1. Consistent in demonstrating who you truly are in work and home life.
2. Easily build connections, rapport, or relationships.
3. Able to keep confidentiality.
4. Can communicate bad news as easily as good news.
5. Know how to start conversations with others and get others to talk.
6. Can share opinions freely and keep emotions in check.
7. Have asked for others’ feedback on your performance.
8. Have engaged in self-reflection; self-motivated to examine own
performance.
9. Are willing to admit to your mistakes.
10. Affirm others even when you disagree.
Results?
Be transparent by…
• Being congruent between inner and
outer self. No pretense. Pretending to be
someone or something you are not will
ultimately take its toll; both on you, those
around you, and the bottom line of your
organization. Make a conscious examination
of your values, vision, mission and purpose,
then align those elements with your daily life
– both at work and at home.
• Creating meaningful connections
with team members. You can fake
genuine consideration, but not for long.
Don’t force an unnatural or uncomfortable
bond with team members, but do go out of
your way to get to know each person on a
real level. What is important to them?
How do their skills and values compliment
your team?
• Being sincere in word and deed. It is
usually not appropriate to divulge all
information without discernment. You
don’t need to tell everyone everything, but
never lie. Try phrases like, “I’m not at
liberty to discuss that, but what I can tell
you is…” People will respect both your
candor and discretion with privileged
information.
• Communicating both good and bad
news. Just like you, your team needs as
many facts as they can muster to make
intelligent decisions, opinions, and
commitments. Don’t sugarcoat bad news
to make it sound better, and don’t
downplay or omit good news. Just tell the
truth simply, and with a touch of
compassion when necessary.
• Revealing personal information within
the context of work. Transparency is all
about mindful revelation, so take advantage
of opportunities to appropriately expose
yourself once in a while. Meaningful
connections are built on mutual respect and
communication. So don’t just stockpile
information about the people around you,
share things about yourself to increase your
own vulnerability and stake in the
relationship.
• Responsibly sharing true opinions
and emotions. As stated above, never
lie, but be responsible in the manner in
which you share with others. For example,
express your concern or disappointment,
but without contempt. Explain your
reasoning for a decision, but not at the
cost of someone’s dignity.
• Asking for feedback about their own
performance. Don’t lie to your team, and
take steps to ensure you aren’t lying to
yourself. Ask those who you respect, and
prepare yourself to accept their feedback with
an open and gracious mind. While it takes
courage to face criticism, appreciate the
bravery it takes others (especially those
whose jobs, positions, and wages depend on
your view of them) to be frank with you.
• Owning up to mistakes. It’s not just
team members; everyone appreciates
someone who can admit a mistake. The act
of owning up to a wrong turn or bungled
attempt demonstrates humility and a
genuine desire to do the right thing.
Bonus: the more your team members see
you modeling this skill (although hopefully
not TOO often), the more likely they will
be to return the favor.
Lencioni (2002) and Marcum & Smith (2007)—
Humility is an appropriate selfawareness that avoids thinking too
highly of ourselves, blended with a
healthy self-respect that avoids thinking
too little of ourselves—allowing us to
realistically assess our own
accomplishments while continuing the
pursuit of our own personal
development.
Proper humility stems from the worldview and
core values genesis of leadership
Five key abilities:
1. Fallibility
2. Vulnerability
3. Transparency
4. Inadequacy, and
5. Interdependency
The Leadership Onion:
Foundational Themes
Worldview and
Values
Talents and
aptitudes
Emotional
Intelligence
Personality
preference
Behaviors and
Performance
Focus on the core of the leadership onion—worldview
and values. The fast pace of change, the multitude of
daily responsibilities, the voice mails, grading, emails,
meetings, and schedules of most teacher leaders leave
little time for reflection on the deeper core beliefs, values,
and worldview issues of life. Without time to reflect and
develop a proper center, teacher leaders often accept,
adopt, or borrow a worldview from others.
Concepts such as Don’t get too close to the people you
lead, or This isn’t personal, it’s business are dominant
worldview statements that operate in the lives of many
leaders today—often times with little or no reflective
choice or intentionality.
What is key? Examine your worldview.
Who are you?
Reflect.
Socrates pointed out thousands of years ago, “The
unexamined life is not worth living.”
The root of humility—the Latin humus for
ground or earth—hints at what appropriate
self-awareness, feedback, and reflection
does in the life of a leader, it keeps them
grounded.
Result
Response
Recognition
Recognition |Response |Result
Attribute : Fallibility
Recognition:
Response:
Result:
“I make mistakes.”
“I need your patience.”
Authenticity
Recognition |Response |Result
Attribute: Vulnerability
Recognition:
Response:
Result:
“I was wrong.”
“I need your forgiveness.”
Reconciliation
Recognition |Response |Result
Attribute: Transparency
Recognition:
Response:
Result:
“I don't know.”
“I need your ideas.”
Innovation
Recognition |Response |Result
Attribute: Inadequacy
Recognition:
Response:
Result:
“I can’t do it all.”
“I need your talents.”
Work/Life Balance
Recognition |Response |Result
Attribute: Interdependency
Recognition:
Response:
Result:
“I’m not here for me.”
“I need your collaboration.”
Talent Development
Onion activity:
TRANSPARENCY
Fallibility—Accepting Imperfection and
Seeking Authenticity
• Having high-standards and
holding oneself and others
accountable for quality
performance continues to
be just as important. The
difference is that by
accepting and exposing
personal fallibility, leaders
cease to be above their
followers and begin to
create a safe environment
for authenticity, where not
only the leader but also
everyone else can be
authentic.
Vulnerability—Asking Forgiveness and
Seeking Reconciliation
Vulnerability is a willingness to look at our own
contribution to the crises, problems, and challenges we
encounter. Consider the metaphor of a window and a
mirror: when we have worked with leaders who struggle
with vulnerability, their first reaction to a problem or
crisis is to look out the window for someone to blame.
Faced with the same problems or crises, leaders with true
humility look first in the mirror to see how their own
actions or inactions contributed to the problem. And
when things are going well, these same humble leaders
look out the window to acknowledge the contributions of
others in their success.
Transparency—Admitting Ignorance
and Seeking Innovation
• Recognizing that we don’t have to have all the answers and saying
to our followers, “I don’t know” is a profoundly significant (and
courageous) step.
• For many, there is a deep-rooted fear associated with saying, I don’t
know; they consider it as the ultimate sign of weakness in
leadership. But the reality is that when followers see their leader
make this acknowledgement, their natural response is to bring their
best thinking to the leader. As leaders move from the recognition of
their own ignorance to the response of telling their followers, I
need your ideas, what often follows is the innovation and creative
thinking required for the complex issues and challenges they face.
When unleashed by an appropriately humble leader, this
collaboration takes hold and energizes the followers.
Using all team members’ gifts for innovation and success
Inadequacy—Acknowledging Mortality
and Seeking Work/Life Balance
Humility requires leaders to
courageously deal with their
own inadequacy to work
harder and longer—to keep
more and more of today’s
responsibilities while taking on
more and more of tomorrow’s
challenges. The statistics on
burnout are staggering—
work/life balance is an illusive,
yet very important aspect of
long-term leadership
effectiveness.
Interdependency—Moving from SelfCentered to Other-Centered and
Developing Talent
• One of the marks of great leaders, leaders
who genuinely live out this humility, is the
selflessness of their leadership. What they
communicate is that it’s not about me. I’m not
here for my own interests.
• We’re All in this Together
Tony Dungy: Humility and Leadership
John Maxwell: 5 Levels of Leadership
Note what is included in the highest level!
Questions and Listening as Essential
Tools of Humility in Leadership
Two very practical fruits of true humility are the
ability to ask great questions and the ability to
listen well.
Active listening
• “What I think I hear you saying is…”
• “In other words, you think that…”
• “Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you
saying…”
• “Let me review what I’ve heard you say. Please
correct me if I leave anything out.”
• “I hear you saying…Is that right?”
Active Listening: Yes or No?
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I allow the other person to finish what s/he is saying before I speak.
I pay attention even when I don’t like the speaker.
I easily ignore distractions when I am listening.
I can easily remember what people say to me.
I ask the speaker questions when I don’t understand something.
I look at people when they are talking to me.
I don’t do other things when I am listening.
I keep listening even when the message is too complicated.
I ignore behavior or appearances that bother me and listen to what the
speaker is saying.
10. I wait to chime in with my “advice” after listening to someone.
Results?
1. Seek to understand before seeking to be understood. When we seek to
understand rather than be understood, our modus operandi will be to listen.
Often, when we enter into conversation, our goal is to be better understood. We
can be better understood, if first we better understand. With age, maturity, and
experience comes silence. It is most often a wise person who says little or
nothing at the beginning of a conversation or listening experience. We need to
remember to collect information before we disseminate it. We need to know it
before we say it.
2. Be non judgmental. Empathetic listening demonstrates a high degree of
emotional intelligence. If we would speak to anyone about issues important to
them, we need to avoid sharing our judgment until we have learned their
judgment.
3. Give your undivided attention to the speaker. Absolutely important is
dedicating your undivided attention to the speaker if you are to succeed as an
active listener.
4. Use silence effectively. The final rule for active or empathic listening is to
effectively use silence.
– “The word listen contains the
same letters as the word
silent.” – Alfred Brendel
– “The most important thing in
communication is to hear
what isn’t being said.” – Peter
Drucker
– “Most people do not listen
with the intent to understand.
They listen with the intent to
reply. – Stephen R. Covey
It's Not About The Nail
Covey’s 7 Habits of Effective Leaders
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be
Understood
• Use empathic listening to be genuinely
influenced by a person, which compels them
to reciprocate the listening and take an open
mind to being influenced by you. This creates
an atmosphere of caring, and positive
problem solving.
Habits of mind
Listening to Others with Understanding and
Empathy
• Identify the most common "listening setasides" in conversation so that students can
begin to recognize common "errors" that
occur in everyday communication. These
errors might include comparing, judging,
placating or giving advice instead of really
listening and understanding a message.
Empathetic Listening
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Eyes
Mouth
Neck
Hands
Feet
Back
z
Kotter’s 5 Mental Habits Successful
Leaders Need
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2.
3.
4.
5.
Risk taking
Humble self-reflection
Solicitation of opinions
Careful listening
Openness to new ideas
Humility=head, heart, hands, human
• Effective leaders ask the who question before
the what
• Look out the window when things go right and
in the mirror when things go wrong
• The Power of a Team
How to encourage humility:
invite feedback
encourage dissent
turn failures into opportunities
expect humility in others
Exhibiting humility in my leadership:
how do I show humility?
how can I show humility?
Self SWOT on Leadership Habits
STRENGTHS
RISK TAKING
SELFREFLECTION
TEAM
CONCEPT/
RELATIONSHIPS
LISTENING
OPENNESS TO
NEW IDEAS
WEAKNESSES
OPPORTUNITIES
THREATS