Malori Harmon
Sociology 3212
MW 1:30-2:45
November 26, 2012
An Interview of the Unfamiliar
To better understand class topics and discussion I interview a girl I went to high
school with. We are of different races and also have different ethnic beliefs. I explained I
was writing a paper for my sociology class and I would appreciate any information about
her life that she was willing to share. I told my friend I would not use her real name at
her request, so for the duration of the paper I will call her Pat. I will include information
about Pat’s background and childhood, as well as what her present life is like. After I
give you all the information about her life I will make inferences between her story and
class discussions we have had to try to see if there is any sort of pattern or correlation
between the two.
I told Pat I would not use any information that she did not want me to, however
she was very willing to share and help me with the paper. Pat seemed almost excited
about being able to share her story with me because it was not really something she had
ever been asked to do before. This was a chance for her to inform others without them
needing to get very involved or for her to have to share more information than she wanted
to. Pat is African American and she is also Muslim. She grew up in a two parent, middle
class home in a good neighbor. Pat has an older sister and a younger brother. She also
told me her life is nowhere near the norm for the average Muslim woman. This was
mainly because of her parents hard work and success, and that they chose to follow their
An Interview of the Unfamiliar
religious beliefs while still giving their children every possible opportunity available to
them.
Pat’s father worked outside of the home while her mother stayed at home with the
children. Her mother made sure that all of their children were equal and well educated,
not just her brother. The children were held to high expectations, all A’s on report cards,
extracurricular activities, and community service projects. Pat told me that when her and
her sister were very young, before her brother was born, her parents were very strict and
the girls had to stay at home. As all three kids got older their parents decided that even
though its not how they had been raised they agreed the girls should receive the same
opportunities as their son.
Pat did not recall too much stereotyping or any negative comments from when she
was in elementary school. We talked in class about how younger children do not
necessarily see other children by what race they are and the stereotypes that are
incorporated with each one, unless they are taught to. However when she was in middle
school, and later on in high school, she remembers being treated differently than other
classmates she was around. No one ever specifically called her names or said anything to
her face that she could recollect, she just said there were always a few people who would
not sit by her or would pick her last for a group project. Nothing to be directly mean to
her just subtle things to make her feel that she was unequal and unwanted in the class or
even the school.
For most of Pat’s school aged years her family lived in the same house. They
lived in a three-bedroom home in an average to low middle class neighborhood. While
her neighborhood was fairly diverse she told me her school was not. She went to a
An Interview of the Unfamiliar
school that was predominately white and until she was older she never understood why
some of her neighbors did not attend the same school she did. Pat’s parents requested
and worked hard for their children to get into a better school district, which she had not
known about for many years. Once she learned of this information she wasn’t really sure
how she felt about what her parents had done. On one hand she was grateful her parents
worked so hard to get them into a good school system, but on the other hand she had to
learn how to deal with being different from all of the other children that were around her
else around her.
Throughout the interview Pat seemed very respectful and grateful for both of
her parents but especially her mother. If it were not for her mother, many of the
opportunities she was given she would have never had. Their mother did not hold them
to such strict rules while their father was at work because although she very much
believed in the teachings and customs of their religion she also wanted to give all her
children the best life she could provide. Pat’s mom was trying to give her children an
easier childhood than she had. Pat said that her mother is her hero; she was the reason
that Pat’s life is the way it is now.
Pat now attends a local college where she is majoring in business. This is a huge
achievement and privilege because many other women not only of the same race but
especially the same religion are unable to attend any college or major in something like
business. Although she has been given permission to further her education Pat and her
sister must continue to live at home because they are unmarried, even though once their
brother finishes school he will be allowed to move off to attend college. Pat told me
college is a lot different from high school in that all of her classes contain a mixture of
An Interview of the Unfamiliar
different races, religions, and opinions. She loves this because she never feels like she is
being judged or that anyone is staring at her.
Pat made mention of a few things that reminded me of an article we read for class.
In the article “ The Linguistics of Color Blind Racism: How to Talk Nasty about Blacks
without Sounding Racist” the author mentions a few phrases or sayings if you will that
people of other races will sometimes say. Expressions such as “I’m not racist but…” or “
I agree and disagree with that because…” Pat had heard all these before, throughout her
entire life, she told me by now it just seemed normal, not that she agreed, just it was not
unusual to hear. It is crazy for something like that to become normal to a person. Pat
made other connections to topics in our class like when she was telling me about how
teachers or other people try to pronounce her real name but she always has to correct
them. That made me think about the article in our book called “Kristen vs. Aisha; Brad
vs. Rasheed: What’s in a Name and how it Affects Getting a Job”. However the one that
stuck out to me the most was the expressions because what she told me was almost word
for word with the article.
I learned a lot from Pat, even though we were friends in school, this assignment
gave me the opportunity to ask her questions I had not really ever thought about before. I
knew things were a little different for her but never considered just how different. I was
able to learn information about her childhood that I did not know about since I did not
know her until we were older. It gave me another opportunity and reason to be thankful
for all the advantages I have been given because of my skin color, religion, and my
parent’s social economic status. I hope others in the class learned as much as I did from
An Interview of the Unfamiliar
the people of different races they chose to interview and the experiences that these people
were able to share.
An Interview of the Unfamiliar
References
Ahluwalia, Pal, and Miller, Toby. 2011 "The Muslim Imaginary." Social Identities (17.
3):301-302. Retrieved from Academic search complete on Nov 24, 2012
Bonilla-Silva, Eduardo . 2002 "The Linguistics of Color Blind Racism: How to Talk
Nasty About Blacks Without Sounding “Racist”." Critical Sociology 28(1-2):4164. Retrieved from Academic search complete on Jan 1, 1980
Gallagher, Charles A. 2012. Rethinking the Color Line. New York, McGraw-Hill.
Oh, Se-Hyung . 2012 "Leadership Emergence in Autonomous Work Teams: Who is
More Willing to Lead?." Social Behavior & Personality: an International Journal
40(9):1451-1464. Retrieved from Academic search complete on Nov 24, 2012
Ryan, Louise . 2011 "Muslim Women Negotiating Collective Stigmatization: ‘We’re Just
Normal People’ ." Sociology 40(6):1045-1060. Retrieved from Academic search
complete on Nov 24, 2012