Listening and Emotional
Intelligence
“Courage is what it takes to stand up and
speak; courage is also what it takes to sit
down and listen.”
Winston Churchill
Communication Process
Sender
 Receiver
 Feedback
 Interference
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Channels of Communication
Face-to-face
 Telephonic
 Email, text messaging, internet
 Memos, letters
 Formal reports
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Message Receiving Process
Listening
 Analyzing
 Checking understanding

Listen
From Webster’s Dictionary
To pay attention to sound
 To hear with thoughtful attention
 To be alert and catch an expected sound
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Types of Listening
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Active
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Empathic
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Listening to understand the other person
Critical listening
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“listening with a purpose” (Barker, 1971)
To determine accuracy
Listening for enjoyment
Active Listening
Make time
 Act interested in speaker
 Good eye contact
 Repeat key phrases
 Ask questions
 Concentrate on what is being said

Listening
Pay attention
 Avoid distractions
 Do not assume or interrupt
 Watch nonverbal clues
 Ask questions
 Take notes
 Provide feedback
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Ten Keys to Effective
Listening
Keys
Poor Listener
Good Listener
1. Listen actively
Is passive, laid back
Asks questions;
paraphrases what is said
2. Find areas of interest
Tunes out dry subjects
Looks for opportunities,
new learning
3. Resist distractions
Is easily distracted
Fights distractions;
tolerates bad habits;
knows how to
concentrate
4. Capitalize on the fact
that thought is faster
than speech
Tends to daydream with
slow speakers
Challenges, anticipates,
summarizes; listens
between lines to tone of
voice
5. Be responsive
Is minimally involved
Nods; shows interest,
positive feedback
Keys
Poor Listener
Good Listener
6. Judge content, not
delivery
Tunes out if delivery is
poor
Judges content; skips
over delivery errors
7. Hold one’s fire
Has preconceptions;
argues
Does not judge until
comprehension is
complete
8. Listen for ideas
Listens for facts
Listens to central themes
9. Work at listening
No energy output; faked
attention
Works hard; exhibits
active body state, eye
contact
10. Exercise one’s mind
Resists difficult material
in favor of light,
recreational material
Uses heavier material as
exercise for the mind
Analyzing
Listen actively
 Evaluate message after listening

Analyzing
From Webster’s Dictionary

To study or determine the nature and
relationship of the parts by analysis
Check Understanding
Paraphrase
 Watch nonverbal cues

Feedback

Repeat key phrases to show you
understand what is being said
Irritating Listening Habits
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Interrupting the speaker
Not looking at the speaker
Rushing the speaker
Showing interest in something else
Finishing the speaker’s thoughts
Not responding to requests
Saying “Yes but…..”
Topping the speaker’s story
Forgetting what was asked
Asking too many questions

The International Listening Association
Barriers to Listening
Emotions
 Too technical
 Too much information
 Past experiences
 Busy thinking about our answer
 Assumptions
 Opinions

Open Ended Questions
Good tools for getting information
 Cannot be answered with just a yes or no
 Samples
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Why do you say that?
 How did you feel about what she said?
 How will you handle the situation?
 Why do you think you reacted that way?
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Body Language
Head nodding
 Leaning forward
 Relaxed body posture
 Facial expressions
 Eye contact
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Emotional Intelligence
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Daniel Goleman
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A person’s ability to perceived, identify,
understand and successfully manage
emotions in self and others.
Costs to Leaders
Loss of followers
 Conflict
 Absenteeism
 Health costs
 Lawsuits
 Workplace violence
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Elements of Emotional
Intelligence- Kolp and Rea
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Self Awareness
 Accurate self-assessment of skill and emotion
 Self confidence
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Self Management
 Self control
 Integrity
 Adaptable to change
 Initiative
Elements of Emotional
Intelligence- Kolp and Rea

Social Awareness
 Empathy and service orientation
 Awareness of organization realities

Social Skills
 Leading change
 Creation of shared vision and sense of team
 Communication and conflict resolution
 Relationship building
Emotional Families
Anger
 Sadness
 Fear
 Enjoyment
 Love
 Surprise
 Disgust
 Shame
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Goleman on Salovey’s Definition
Components of Emotional Intelligence
Knowing one’s emotions
 Managing emotions
 Motivating oneself
 Recognizing emotions in others
 Handling relationships
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References
Richard L. Daft, The Leadership Experience, (Thomson Publishing,
Ohio) p. 143
 Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence,
(Bantam International, New York)
 Robert Lussier and Christopher Achua, (Thomson Publishing, Ohio)
p. 204
 Craig E. Runde and Tim A. Flanagan, Becoming a Conflict
Competent Leader, (Jossey Bass Publisher, California) p. 11-15
 Barker, L.L. (1971) Listening Behavior, Englewood Cliffs, NJ:
Prentice-Hall
 Robyn Walker, Strategic Business Communication, Thomson
Publishing, Ohio) pp. 198-201
 Alan Kolp and Peter Rea, Leading with Integrity, (Atomic Dog
Publishing, Cincinnati) p. 199.
 Webster Dictionary
 The International Listening Association
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