The Truth About Lying
Until recently lying was almost entirely ignored by
psychologists, leaving serious discussion of the topic in
the hands of ethicists and theologians.
As psychologists delve deeper into the details of
deception, they're finding that lying is a surprisingly
common and complex phenomenon.
The Truth About Lying
In a 1996 study, Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., a psychologist at
the University of Virginia, and her colleagues had 147
people between the ages of 18 and 71 keep a diary of all
the falsehoods they told over the course of a week.
Most people, she found, lie once or twice a day
-almost as often as they snack or brush their teeth.
Both men and women lie in approximately 1/5 of their
social exchanges lasting 10 or more minutes
Over the course of a week they deceive about 30% of
those with whom they interact one-one.
The Truth About Lying
"College students lie to their mothers in one out of
two conversations," reports DePaulo.
Incidentally, when researchers refer to lying, they
don't include the mindless or polite pleasantries we
offer each other in passing, such as "I'm fine, thanks" or
"No trouble at all."
An "official" lie actually misleads, deliberately
conveying a false impression.
So, complimenting a friend's awful haircut or telling a
creditor that the check is in the mail both qualify.
The Truth About Lying
Although we're socialized from the time we can speak
to believe that it's always better to tell the truth, in
reality society often encourages and even rewards
deception.
Show up late for an early morning meeting at work
and it's best not to admit that you overslept.
"You're punished far more than you would be if you
lie and say you were stuck in traffic," Saxe notes.
Moreover, lying is integral to many occupations.
Think how often we see lawyers constructing farfetched theories on behalf of their clients or reporters
misrepresenting themselves in order to gain access to
good stories.
The Truth About Lying
85% of the couples interviewed in a study of college
students reported that one or both partners had lied
about past relationships or recent indiscretions.
DePaulo finds that dating couples lie to each other in
about 1/3 of their interactions
perhaps more often than they deceive others
Fortunately, marriage seems to offer some protection
against deception: Spouses lie to each other in "only"
about 10 % of their major conversations.
The Truth About Lying
"fake positive" lies
-those in which people pretend to like
someone or something more than they actually
do ("Your muffins are the best ever") -are about
10 to 20 times more common than…
"false negative" lies
-in which people pretend to like someone or
something less ("That two-faced rat will never
get my vote").
The Truth About Lying
Certain cultures may place special importance on these
"kind" lies.
A survey of residents at 31 senior citizen centers in Los
Angeles recently revealed that only about 50% of
elderly Korean Americans believe that patients
diagnosed with life-threatening metastatic cancer
should be told the truth about their condition.
In contrast, nearly 90% of Americans of European or
African descent felt that the terminally ill should be
confronted with the truth.
The Truth About Lying
Although the M/F lie with equal frequency…
Women are especially likely to stretch the truth in
order to protect someone else's feelings<DePaulo>
Men, on the other hand, are more prone to lying
about themselves
-the typical conversation between two
guys contains about eight times as many
self-oriented lies as it does falsehoods
about other people
The Truth About Lying
In a University of Virginia study, psychologists asked pairs
of same-sex friends to try to detect lies told by the other
person.
Six months later the researchers repeated the experiment
with the same participants. Over time,
Women had become slightly better at detecting their
friend's lies
Men didn't show any improvement.
The Truth About Lying
In a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology, DePaulo and Deborah A. Kashy, Ph.D., of Texas
A&M University, report that frequent liars tend to be
manipulative, not to mention overly concerned with the
impression they make on others.
Still, DePaulo warns that liars “don't always fit the
stereotype of caring only about themselves.”
Further research reveals that extroverted, sociable people
are slightly more likely to lie.
Some personality and physical traits - notably selfconfidence and physical attractiveness - have been linked to
an individual's skill at lying when under pressure.
The Truth About Lying
Researchers such as UCLA psychologist Shelley Taylor,
Ph.D., have cited such findings as evidence that a
certain amount of self-delusion--basically, lying to
yourself--is essential to good mental health.
The Truth About Lying
Few experts display much confidence in the deception-detecting abilities
of the polygraph, or lie detector.
Geoffrey C. Bunn, Ph.D., a psychologist and polygraph historian at
Canada's York University, goes so far as to describe the lie detector as
“an entertainment device” rather than a scientific instrument.
Problem with the polygraph: it detects fear, not lying
The physiological responses it measures - most often heart rate, skin
conductivity, and rate of respiration - don't necessarily accompany
dishonesty.
“The premise of a lie detector is that a smoke alarm goes off in the
brain when we lie because we're doing something wrong,” explains
Saxe.
“But sometimes we're completely comfortable with our lies.” the bestcontrolled research suggests that lie detectors err at a rate anywhere
from 25 to 75 percent.
Perhaps this is why most state and federal courts won't allow polygraph
“evidence.”
The Truth About Lying
Some studies suggest that lies can be detected by means
other than a polygraph
e.g. speech hesitations or changes in vocal pitch
scratching, blinking, or fidgeting.
But most psychologists agree that lie detection is
destined to be imperfect.
Researchers continue to investigate new ways of picking
up lies.
The Truth About Lying
James W. Pennebaker, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Southern
Methodist University, began to explore whether a person's choice
of words was a sign of deception.
Examining data gathered from a text analysis program, Pennebaker
and SMU colleague Diane Berry, Ph.D., determined that there are
certain language patterns that predict when someone is being less
than honest.
For example, liars tend to use fewer first person words like I or my
in both speech and writing.
They are also less apt to use emotional words, such as hurt or
angry, cognitive words, like understand or realize, and so-called
exclusive words, such as but or without, that distinguish between
what is and isn't in a category.
The Truth About Lying
DePaulo's studies, participants described conversations
in which they lied as less intimate and pleasant than
truthful encounters, suggesting that people are not
entirely at ease with their deceptions.
That may explain why falsehoods are more likely to
be told over the telephone, which provides more
anonymity than a face-to-face conversation.
In most cases, however, any mental distress that results
from telling an everyday lie quickly dissipates.
The Truth About Lying
Those who took part in the diary study said they
would tell about 75% of their lies again if given a
second chance
—a position likely bolstered by their
generally high success rate.
Only about 1/5 of their falsehoods were discovered
during the one-week study period.
The Truth About Lying
It's tempting to think that the world would become a
better place when purged of the deceptions that seem
to interfere with our attempts at genuine
communication or intimacy.
On the other hand, perhaps our social lives would
collapse under the weight of relentless honesty, with
unveiled truths destroying our ability to connect with
others.
But then, I could be lying.
The Truth About Lying
Eyes
When asked a question, a ‘typical’ right-handed person looks…
(from your viewpoint, looking at them)
The Truth About Lying
Up and to the Left
Visually Constructed Images (Vc)
If you asked someone to "Imagine a
purple snake," this would be the
direction their eyes moved while
thinking about the question as they
"Visually Constructed" a purple snake
in their mind.
Eyes
Up and to the Right
Visually Remembered Images (Vr)
If you asked someone "What color was
the first house you lived in?," this would
be the direction their eyes moved while
thinking about the question as they
"Visually Remembered" the color of
their childhood home.
The Truth About Lying
To the Left
Auditory Constructed (Ac)
If you asked someone to "Try to create
the sound of supernova in your head,"
this would be the direction their eyes
moved while thinking about the
question as they "Auditorily
Constructed" this sound that they have
never heard.
Eyes
To the Right
Auditory Remembered (Ar)
If you asked someone to "Remember
what their favorite song sounds like,“
this would be the direction their eyes
moved while thinking about the
question as they "Auditorily
Remembered " this sound.
The Truth About Lying
Down and to the Left
Feeling / Kinesthetic (F)
If you asked someone to "Can you
remember the smell of a campfire? "
This would be the direction their eyes
moved while thinking about the
question as they used Feeling /
Kinesthetic to recall a smell, feeling or
taste.
Eyes
Down and To the Right
Internal Dialog (Ai)
This is the direction of someone eyes
as they "talk to themselves."
The Truth About Lying
Eyes
The Truth About Lying
Eyes
How this information may be used to detect lies:
Example:
Let's say the child you’re babysitting asks you for a cookie,
and you ask them "well, what did your mother say?"
As they reply "Mom said... yes." they look to the left.
This would indicate a made up answer as their eyes are
showing a "constructed image or sound.
Looking to the right would indicated a "remembered" voice
or image, and thus would be telling the truth.
The Truth About Lying
Eyes
Other notes:
Looking straight ahead or with eyes that are
defocused/unmoving is also considered a sign of visual
accessing.
A typical left-handed person would have the opposite
meanings for their eye-directions.
As with other signs of lying, you should first establish and
understand a persons base-behavior before concluding
they are lying by the direction of their eyes.
Remember…this is not always accurate
The Truth About Lying
Detection
Body Language:
•Physical expression limited/stiff
•Few arm/hand movements
•Hand, arm/leg movement toward their own body
•Liars takes up less space
•Avoid eye contact
•Hands touching their face, throat & mouth
•Touches or scratches the nose or behind their ear
The Truth About Lying
Detection
Emotional Gestures & Contradiction
•Timing/duration of emotional gestures/emotions off normal pace.
•Display of emotion delayed, stays longer it would naturally, then
stops suddenly.
•Timing off between emotions gestures/expressions and words.
•e.g. Someone says "I love it!" when receiving a gift, and then
smile after making that statement, rather then at the same
time the statement is made.
•Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement,
•e.g. frowning when saying “I love you.”
•Expressions are limited to mouth movements when someone is
faking emotions (like happy, surprised, sad, awe, )instead of the
whole face.
•e.g. when someone smiles naturally their whole face is
involved: jaw/cheek movement, eyes, forehead push down, etc.
The Truth About Lying
Detection
Interactions and Reactions
•Guilty = defensive.
•Innocent = offensive.
•GO AWAY!
•Liar uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and
may turn his head or body away.
•THE WALL:
•Liar might unconsciously place objects (book, coffee
cup, etc.) between themselves and you.
The Truth About Lying
Detection
Verbal Context and Content
•Liars will use your words to answer a question.
•e.g. when asked, “Did you eat the last cookie?” The liar
answers, “No, I did not eat the last cookie.”
•A statement with a contraction is more likely to be truthful:
“I didn't do it” instead of “I did not do it”
•Liars sometimes avoid "lying" by not making direct statements.
•They imply answers instead of denying something directly.
•Guilty person may speak more than natural, adding unnecessary
details to convince you...not comfortable with silence or pauses in
the conversation.
The Truth About Lying
Detection
Verbal Context and Content
•Liars may leave out pronouns and speak in a monotonous tone.
•When a truthful statement is made the pronoun is emphasized
as much or more than the rest of the words in a statement.
•Words may be garbled, mumbled, spoken softly
•i.e. sentences will likely be muddled rather than emphasized.
The Truth About Lying
In the end, we’re left with our instincts, intuition, gut feelings,
perceptions, biases, backgrounds, needs, desires, knowledge,
interests, empathy, sympathy, trust, compassion and faith in
others to determine the truth – reflected in those we
encounter, and within the mirrors on the wall.
Best wishes…
Various sources used and noted, while some content/statistics courtesy Psychology Today